The Love of my Life has been going through a rough past three months. His work is taking its toll, and his focus has shifted to surviving a job that makes him quite unhappy. In this time, his relationship with me has waned. Substantially. I worked to make things happen, to work on our relationship, to give it the due it needed.
But, in three months time, the Love of my Life has lost his connection with me, and isn't sure that what he needs is a relationship, right now.
Cue my mind.
I've been through one real break-up before, and it was the most horrendous thing I had ever yet had to deal with. This one is different. Kaiao was honest. And in that honesty, lies my solace.
Yes, this changes plan I had for me for the rest of my life. Yes, this forces me to adjust to the shutters around his eyes, instead of opening them. Yes, this is making me sit up at four in the morning because I can't sleep. :) Ah well. Such is life. Such are my possibilities.
I'm at his house right now. I'm leaving tomorrow, and I'll see him quite substantially in April. But a friendship it shall be, and a friendship is going to be, eventually, just fine.
On another note--have any of you ever had your heart scream at you while your outward appearance remains almost perfectly calm? It's an odd sort of coma, isn't it? :)